By Cynthia Citron
HOLLYWOOD–On the 55th anniversary of Albert Einstein’s death, April 18, 2010, his secretary, Helen Dukas, called a press conference at Theatre West in Hollywood. She wanted to talk about an earlier press conference, held on March 14, 1934, on the occasion of her boss’ 55th birthday, celebrated with a symposium in his honor in Princeton, New Jersey.
The great man, having recently arrived from Nazi Germany, was, as always, reticent to appear before the press, and so Helen filled in the time while waiting for him by politely talking about what it was like to share a life with the Einsteins. “I have worked for them for 12 years now, and it has been the most rewarding nine years of my life,” she says.
This candid but genteel German lady, in this theatrical production given the name Ellen Schoenhammer, gracefully brings the absent man to life in this devoted and loving three-part monologue, The Life and Times of A. Einstein, written and acted by Kres Mersky and directed by her real-life husband, Paul Gersten.
As she bustles through her duties in Einstein’s office, dumping unopened mail in the wastebasket, discussing his learning to speak English, and calling him “the greatest Jew since Jesus,” Ellen cautions “the press”—the audience—not to ask him to explain the Theory of Relativity, “because, of course, he will…”
She also advises them that he will be happy to sign autographs—at $5 each. But, she adds, the money thus collected will go to the Hebrew University in Jerusalem.
She tries to explain his theories and declares, “There is no before or after. He has dethroned time.” Then she excuses herself to take a call from the baker who is preparing Einstein’s birthday cake. “And be sure to put the little choo-choo train and the doggie on it,” she tells the baker.
She mentions that Einstein had hired her because she could “drive a car, type a letter, and shoot a gun,” and then she uncharacteristically breaks into song. “Someday I’ll find you,” she sings in a quavery voice, thus revealing her unexpressed passion as she twirls around the room.
Gently, the scene switches to a second “press conference,” some five years later. In this the very sedate Ms. Schoenhammer enthuses over Einstein’s assertions. “He believes in a universe of structure and in cause and effect,” she says. “And that light bends and that space is curved!”
She talks soberly about Einstein’s opposition to the atomic bomb and his reaction upon learning that it had been dropped on Hiroshima. “Oy vey!” the great man said.
By the time of his death, in 1955, which she announces in yet a third “press conference,” Schoenhammer had worked as his secretary for 27 years. She continued living in the house in Princeton, compiling his papers and watching over his estate, until her own death in 1982 at the age of 85.
The Life and Times of A. Einstein is a sweetly gentle performance by a devoted servant, and Kres Mersky makes the most of it, never losing her accent or her poise. Schoenhammer is the perfect secretary and the perfect German: tactful, righteous, and just a bit humorless. She reveals nothing of the sometimes grumpy, womanizing flesh-and-blood icon she worked for, but it really doesn’t matter. You’ll wind up loving her portrait of him just as much as you’ll love her. It’s a win-win evening for the whole universe of theatergoers.
The Life and Times of A. Einstein will continue Saturdays at 8 p.m. and Sundays at 7 through May 16th. It runs in repertory with Beau and Emily Bridges’ Acting: The First Six Lessons at Theatre West, 3333 Cahuenga Blvd. West, in Hollywood. Call (323) 851-7977 for tickets.
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Citron is Los Angeles bureau chief of San Diego Jewish World