What Eugene Ormandy probably meant to say

By David Amos

SAN DIEGO — It is said that there is no greater opportunity for charlatanism in the arts than at the podium of an orchestra. Conductors, even famous ones, can go from one end of the spectrum to the other, complete fakes, or truly master musicians.

Think about it: A person possessing ample personality and flair, stands in front of highly skilled orchestral musicians, does not play a single note, but with his/her verbal abilities and questionable motions, gets all the credit and a salary many times that of the musicians he faces. I cherish the artistry and sheer greatness of some maestros we all know and admire, but I am also quick to see through the many phonies and pretenders who have the skill to fool most of the people all of the time.

Through the internet, there has been circulated a set of quotes about conductor Eugene Ormandy who for so many years brilliantly led the Philadelphia Orchestra. This list, originally published in the March 1987 issue of the Musicians’ Union Local 802 Journal, cites a series of humorous comments, malapropisms, inconsistencies, and “Reaganisms” which musicians in the orchestra annotated through the years. It was all in good fun.

I happen to like Ormandy’s work very much. During his helm at the Philadelphia Orchestra, he consistently turned out beautiful sounds from the ensemble. It was not exactly the sound of his predecessor, Leopold Stokowski created, but it was also lush, warm, and rich. Ormandy’s recordings and performances, mostly from the Romantic repertory, were vivid and memorable. I grew up listening and admiring his musicianship. His contributions to American symphonic music were many, as well as the world premieres he conducted. And his skills as an accompanist for soloists with orchestra are legendary.

Therefore, all this being said, I found it amusing, but nevertheless, inaccurate, to poke fun at the words that may come from the podium during rehearsals. After all, what a conductor has to say is usually under limited time restraints, constant, but silent second-guessing by the musicians in the orchestra, and the delicate balance of convincing, communicating information, (both artistic and practical), and eliciting a response through words, gestures and motions, to 100 musicians, each with a mind of his/her own. In the haste of a tiring or emotional moment, words can come out in a funny, contradicting way. Anyway, here is the list of quotes, followed by my comments:

*Congratulations to each and every one of you for the concert last night in New York, and vice-versa. Typical comment by someone speaking English whose native tongue is something else. He came from a Jewish-Hungarian heritage. Besides isn’t this something that Yogi Berra might have said?

*I’m conducting very slowly because I don’t know the tempo. Sounds ridiculous, but it is OK. Sometimes, when the music is totally unfamiliar, it is advisable to initially rehearse it slowly, to grasp the harmonies, the melodic lines, and the intent; afterwards, it can be played faster, or “a tempo”.

*I am thinking it right, but beating it wrong. The thought is what counts. In other words, “trust me, the concept is there, the correct beat will follow soon”.

*I can conduct better than I count. “I am not good at figuring complex mathematical minutiae right here and now, just follow my beat”.

*Why do you always insist on playing when I’m trying to conduct? He might have meant “when I am trying to explain something to you.”

*Don’t ever follow me, because I am difficult. You got me there!

* It is not as difficult as I thought it was, but it is harder than it is. “I expected this to be a lot harder. It may not be as simple as it could be, but with all its difficulties, it is playable”.

*The notes are right, but if I listened, they would be wrong. In some modern music, there are plenty of dissonances, or what we may incorrectly call “wrong notes” to our ears. What Ormandy probably meant is that if you overanalyze and listen with traditional harmony as a basis, you may be limited in executing what the composer wrote down. In the many times I conduct modern scores, I am frequently facing this dilemma.

*It is not together, but the ensemble is perfect. I can not defend this comment, unless he meant that the orchestra is playing nicely together within itself, but not with the conductor and/or soloist.

*Start three bars before something. I say this often. There are rehearsal letters and numbers written in the music, to facilitate starting points to rehearse in the middle of movements. These indications could be far apart. During a rehearsal, it is not uncommon to assume that the musicians know where the conductor stopped to make a correction. Without bothering to look down at his score, a conductor may know that he would like to start the music at a certain spot, and the musicians should also know. Confusing?

*Did you play? It sounded very good! A comment probably directed at one wind player. Ormandy could not directly hear the part buried in the orchestral texture, but it “sounded good.”This is unabashed honesty between conductor and musicians.

*Percussion, a little louder. (Response: “We don’t have anything there to play”) That’s right, play it louder. He probably did not hear the percussionist’s verbal response.

* I need one more bass less. This is an unintended Victor Borge special. But it makes perfect sense to me.

*Brass, stay down all summer. “Due to the acoustics, repertory, different venue, or size of the orchestra during our summer season, it is best if the brass play less aggressively than it does during the regular season.” But, who has the time to say all of that?

*Accelerando means in tempo, don’t rush. When the music indication is “accelerando,” at that point in time, the tempo should be steady. Don’t rush! Following that spot, the music starts to get faster. In this manner, the effect is not lost.

*I don’t want to repeat this a hundred times: When you see crescendo, it means (p) piano. This is very important and a totally accurate comment. Toscanini used to say this frequently. If the music indicates a gradual crescendo (getting louder), you have to start at a soft enough dynamic level (volume) so that the crescendo is effective. A serious, very important musical tool.

*We can’t hear the balance yet because the soloist is still in the airplane. In other words, “we can not determine the balance between our soloist and the orchestra until he or she is with us to rehearse.”

*Please follow me, because I have to follow him, and he isn’t here. “When the soloist is here, I will have to follow him, and you have to follow me. Until he is here, just follow me anyway.” Verbal shorthand.

*He is a wonderful man, and so is his wife. Funny, and it speaks for itself.

*Bizet was a very young man when he composed this symphony, so play it soft. Go figure!

*That’s the way Stravinsky was, bup bup bup. The poor guy is dead now. Play it legato. As long as Stravinsky was alive (or any composer, for that matter), there is a certain respect and reverence to do the music in the manner dictated by the composer. But if he is no longer with us, a conductor may feel more free to apply his own interpretative ideas, to make, to his own opinion, better music out of a particular section or phrase. Ormandy consistently leaned to the more lyrical way of re-creating music.

*(On David Oistrakh’s death): I told him he’d have a heart attack a year ago, but unfortunately, he lived a year longer. Again, a foreigner’s never-ending colorful way of using the English language. Totally well intended.

*This is a very democratic organization, so let’s take a vote. All those who disagree with me, raise their hands. A bit quirky, but it makes its point. “If you disagree with me, speak up now!” Leonard Bernstein used to say, “I am paid to win all arguments.”

*It is all very well to have principles, but when it comes to money, you have to be flexible. Very practical and businesslike, a concept which challenges many an orchestral musician.

*Thank you for your cooperation, and vice-versa. Again, Yogi Berra’s “Déjà vu, all over again”.

* I never say what I mean, but I always manage to say something similar. It may have something to do with the right or left brain, but more likely, “do not quote me chapter and verse, but listen to the spirit of what I am saying.”

* I don’t mean to make you nervous, but, unfortunately, I have to. “If I don’t pressure to do your best, who will? I would prefer not to, but I have to; it’s my job.”

May we always laugh at each others’ inconsistencies and less than common ways of communication.

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Amos is conductor of the Tifereth Israel Community Orchestra and has guest conducted professional orchestras around the world