On jackets, blue jeans and dress codes

By Donald H. Harrison

Donald H. Harrison

LA JOLLA, California, April 3 – Last night, Nancy and I had the opportunity to look into what could become our future and that of other Baby Boomers.

We visited a fashionable condominium complex run for senior citizen residents by a well-known hotel chain.  The high-rise building has many of the amenities of a hotel, or cruise ship, with several dining room options, a variety of activity rooms, athletic facilities, a movie hall, a lecture hall, and long corridors lined with art, much of it invoking the countryside of Europe.

The establishment has a dress code.  Whereas a jacket for men is mandatory, a tie is optional.
Had I not worn a jacket, I would have been denied seating in the restaurant on the top of the building. The first-floor dining room would have been suggested as an alternative.  I have been advised that the food there is also good, but served in somewhat less refined fashion.  It’s more fitting, you might say, for men without jackets.

The top-floor menu tempted the adventurous diner—choice of an onion soup, or a special soup made from eggplant; a variety of salad options, and such entrees as steak, lamb, rabbit, or salmon.  Desserts were similarly appealing, ranging from a light pudding cake to delicately served fruit and ice cream.

There are some well known residents at the hotel – among them former professors and former leaders of San Diego industries–who occasionally share their expertise with residents in the lecture hall located near the swimming pool and spa.

For residents who don’t drive, there is transportation to various locales in La Jolla.  In short, the place offers a life of pampered luxury.

However, all is not peaceful or harmonious in this man-made paradise. A current controversy concerns the establishment’s ban on blue jeans.  True, one may go jacketless in the downstairs dining room, but wearing jeans and a T-shirt into that restaurant is deemed far too déclassé to be permitted.  If, wearing such attire, you even approached the upstairs restaurant, well, it might cause a scandal.

Two residents of the complex with whom we had dinner held a short and quite polite debate about the blue jeans ban. A woman who had been active in Democratic party politics when she was younger contested the issue with another woman, more closely identified with Republican politics– having in her family a former high officeholder of that persuasion.

You can guess who was in favor of eliminating the ban on blue jeans, and who favored keeping it in force, but you might guess wrong.  The former Democratic activist said she favored upholding the dress code whereas the woman of distinguished Republican lineage favored freedom of choice.

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Following dinner, we strolled around the complex.   One could see in the distance the twin spires of the Mormon Temple, which one dinner guest said her young granddaughter refers to as the Princess Castle.  In truth, from that particular perspective, the temple does look like the Fantasyland castle at Disneyland. I could imagine the young granddaughter watching expectantly for Tinkerbelle to shoot up into the sky, trailing stardust in her wake.

One of the residents told us she is pleased by the range of activities offered to residents, finding the lectures quite stimulating.  Another said she is a bit disappointed that while there are numerous fellow Jews living in the complex, very few of them seem interested in Jewish community affairs.   However, the residence is centrally located. Activities at the Jewish Community Center or at a Reform, Conservative or Orthodox congregation are all only a few minutes’ drive away.

So what will Nancy and I do when our single-family home seems too much for us? Will we move to a place like this (assuming at that point we will be able to afford it?) and find the intellectual stimulation so satisfying to one resident, or, like the other resident, will we feel trapped in a gilded prison?

Maybe we’ll wait to see how the blue jeans debate turns out.

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Harrison is editor of San Diego Jewish World.  He may be contacted at donald.harrison@sdjewishworld.com