By Rabbi Leonard Rosenthal
SAN DIEGO –Last Wednesday was “Stump the Rabbi Day” at our Torah School at Tifereth Israel Synagogue. I meet with most classes once a month and this month, instead of a prepared lesson, I let them ask whatever questions were on their minds.
They took the opportunity seriously and asked questions that not only reflected their curiosity but learning, as well. The younger classes took their obligation to “stump the rabbi” very seriously: they asked a lot of questions about God. (The one sure way to stop any rabbi in their tracks is to ask them questions about God!)
One student asked if God hears our prayers since so many of them are not answered. In response I told her the story about the little girl who decided that she was an atheist:
One day a young girl came to her mother and told her that she didn’t believe in God. “Why,” asked her mother. “Because God didn’t answer my prayer. For an entire week I prayed for a new bike and I didn’t get one,” she replied.
“Oh, honey,” said her mom. “That doesn’t mean that God didn’t answer your prayer. God heard your prayer, and God’s answer was ‘no!'”
I was reminded of this exchange and this story when I reviewed this week’s parasha, “Chayyei Sarah.” In Chayyei Sarah Abraham sends his trusted servant back to the land of Abraham’s ancestors to find a wife for Isaac. He makes his servant swear an oath that he will bring back a wife for Isaac from Aram-naharaim, not select a wife for Isaac from among the Canaanites.
The servant is wary of swearing an oath because he is not sure he can complete his assignment: “And the servant said to him, ‘What if the woman does not consent to follow me to this land….?” (Gen: 24:5)
Abraham reassures him: “‘The Lord, the God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and from my native land…He will send His angel before you, and you will get a wife for my son from there.'” (Gen. 24:7). Abraham then adds: “‘And if the woman does not consent to follow you, you shall then be clear of this oath to me….” (Gen. 24:8)
When one looks at the text closely, one sees that Abraham contradicts himself. First he tells the servant that God will ensure his success, and then he tells him that if he is not successful, he will be freed from his promise. But if God will make Abraham’s vision come true, why does Abraham provide an escape clause for the servant? If God guarantees it, failure is not an option!
Clearly, when Abraham told the servant that God would ensure his success, he was not speaking in absolute terms. Instead he was expressing his prayer and hope for success. As close as Abraham was to God, he knew that he could not speak for God or force God’s hand. Abraham could pray to God that his servant be successful, but he could not promise that God would grant his prayer. God could always say, “no!”
In the end, God does grant Abraham’s prayer and the servant returns with Rebecca, who becomes Isaac’s wife. But this was because it was God’s will rather than Abraham’s will.
Human beings cannot force God’s hand. We can only pray for what we desire, and hope and pray that the answers we receive are the answers we want.
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Rabbi Rosenthal is spiritual leader of Tifereth Israel Synagogue in San Diego. He may be contacted at leonard.rosenthal@sdjewishworld.com