Manners and reverence taught through Torah study

Torah Tapestries: Shemos by Shira Smiles, Feldheim Publishers, 2012, Jerusalem, ISBN 978-159826-002-1, Price Unlisted.

By Donald H. Harrison

Donald H. Harrison

SAN DIEGO–Jewish educator Shira Smiles utilizes the various parashot from the Book of Exodus to pass on wonderful lessons for daily living, while teaching some useful Hebrew vocabulary.

For example, in analyzing the portion known as Va’eira, she notes that God had Aaron, rather than Moses, be the one to stretch his staff over the Nile to turn its waters into blood.  Why should it be Aaron?  Moses, after all, was the one who warned Pharaoh of this first plague.

Smiles paraphrases the sage Rashi in explaining that it would have been inappropriate for Moses to do so, because “this same river provided refuge for him as a baby, when his mother facilitated his escape from Pharaoh’s decree of infanticide.”

Smiles acknowledges that the Nile is a river, not a person, so is it really deserving of hakaras hatov (appreciation)?  She responds with an answer from Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler that hakaras hatov “is mainly about the impact on the appreciator, rather than on the one being appreciated. … Our emotional reality is that when we strike something, its value is lowered   in our eyes.  It becomes inferior and we become superior.  If we previously benefitted from it, then our middah (character trait) of hakaras hatov certainly diminishes. ”

Later, Smiles  expands the discussion by quoting Rabbi Chaim Friedlander, who teaches that everything that happens is God’s will, and that if someone helps you it is because God, Himself, decided that person merited the opportunity to be His conduit.   Therefore , by acknowledging someone or something chosen by God to do a good deed, we also are recognizing God’s goodness.

From other sources, Smiles quotes an anecdote about Rabbi Elazar Menachem Man Shach, who on a hot, uncomfortable day “traveled a far distance from his home to attend the funeral of a relatively unknown individual.”   Asked why he had made such an effort, he told of a time when he was 12-years-old, sleeping on the cold floor of a yeshivah, freezing with no bedding or blanket.   However, a local Jew “took pity on me and brought me his winter coat from his house.  He wrapped me in it and from then I was much warmer and I could sleep.”  Now, he said, it was his opportunity to honor that man, who was the deceased.

From biblical verse to other biblical examples to more modern applications, Smiles introduces us to a special Jewish world of kindness, ethics and reverence.   In discussing Ki Sisa, the portion of Exodus in which the incident of the Golden Calf occurs, Smiles attributes to Rabbi Chaim Halpern the analysis that even the Golden Calf was part of God’s plan.   As angry as he (and Moses) became with the Children of Israel for their transgression of worshiping an idol,  “had it not been for this grave sin and Bnei Yisrael’s subsequent successful teshuvah (repentance), sinners in future generations would have despaired.”

Subsequent sinners might have felt there was no way back to God, that their sin was too great; but as a result of the episode with the Golden Calf, they know that genuine teshuvah can pave the way back.

Smiles adapts the lesson to a modern story.  A high school dean told a student that the most important lesson he learned was how to ski “because one of the first lessons is how to fall and how to get up.”

Another example given by Smiles was that of a bright child who always had to be reminded by his parents to study for the test.  One day the parent purposely did not remind the boy, and the child predictably failed.  “The parent didn’t want to punish the child,” Smiles wrote.  “He only wanted the child to learn from the experience….The aftermath of transgressions should be disappointment in ourselves and a realization of our unrealized spiritual potential.  … Your transgressions will afflict you with the emotional pain of a burdened conscience that will motivate you to do teshuvah.”

This is a thoughtful book suitable for teen and adult alike.  What wonderful conversation it can provide around the dinner table!

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Harrison is editor of San Diego Jewish World.  He may be contacted at donald.harrison@sdjewishworld.com