By Natasha Josefowitz, Ph.D.
LA JOLLA, California –Graduating seniors, know that life is a series of stepping stones. You are leaving a very special stepping stone, that of school, of learning from teachers and from books in academic settings, acquiring knowledge fed to you. And now, you are climbing onto a stepping stone where you will be on your own.
Never stop reading, researching, and asking questions, always remain curious and keep learning. This is the learning curve you will be on forever. To keep learning, do this until the day you die: go everywhere (and I mean everywhere!) and experience as much as you can. Grab any opportunity to travel, look for opportunities to meet someone interesting, attend a lecture, go to a conference, or visit a distant friend or relative. Do anything to get out of your comfort zone, try everything. Agree to do things you don’t know how to do, and you will learn as you go. Take risks.
One of my mottos is “identify the fear and then go there.” Yes, with doubts, a pounding heart, a dry mouth, and butterflies in your stomach, but go and do the best you can. If you fall flat on your face, get up, dust yourself off, and keep going. It just becomes part of the experience of that step you just left behind. If you never fail it means you are not taking risks. Always remember that no matter where you are—no matter how dismal, difficult, or painful—it is just a stepping stone on the way to better things. You have one foot in the present and the other is up in the air ready to step up to the future. What you learn on each step becomes part of your accumulated knowledge. Everything you learn is transferable and applicable to what you will need to do next.
You don’t have to linger on an unpleasant step with a bad job or bad relationship, move on and be pleased that you have put one more notch of experience on your belt. You are not stuck, there is always that next rung. Some are higher than others, some take you sideways. You may hop easily or have to clamber up on your hands and knees, but your future is there, waiting for you. Seize every chance to learn what you can in these hard times, so you are poised to leap forward when an opportunity presents itself.
While on your journey of both failed and successful experiments, take time for quiet reflection. It is essential to learn from these experiences to reassess and look inward. You will need to find out who you are and how you are changing as you move along those stepping stones. Give your brain a chance to reconfigure and optimize.
Many people will advise you to find mentors, however it is just as important to be a mentor. No matter where you currently are on these stepping stones, there are those who are struggling behind or next to you who need a hand to be pulled forward or sometimes just to hold for a while. Be the one who gives credit when due, who gives advice and encourages, who can be relied upon to be helpful when needed. No matter how low you are on the ladder of life, there is someone below you just as there is someone above—and both are equally important.
Be involved in your community—making friends, volunteering, and providing service where needed. While all this may seem overwhelming, it is not something you do tomorrow in one fell swoop, it is a philosophy of life, a way of being, always ready for the next adventure. So now, young women and men, throw your caps high up in the air, let the wind catch them and fling them far away, your journey has begun, have a great trip!
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Josefowitz is a freelance writer based in La Jolla. She may be contacted at natasha.josefowitz@sdjewishworld.com This article previously appeared in the La Jolla Village News.
“One of my mottos is “identify the fear and then go there.” Yes, with doubts, a pounding heart, a dry mouth, and butterflies in your stomach, but go and do the best you can. If you fall flat on your face, get up, dust yourself off, and keep going. It just becomes part of the experience of that step you just left behind.”
Apart from anything else, doing this is the only way you’ll ever think to yourself “Well, that wasn’t so scary after all!” Sometimes, it’ll be every bit as scary as you thought, sometimes less but there will be plenty of times where you’ll look back and wonder what you were so scared of.
What’s most important is that you don’t let your fear paralyse you. Graduation can feel a bit like having the rug pulled out from under your feet; up ’til now you’ve had a predictable structure. You’re set a task, you complete it, you hand it in, you get feedback and it’s either a nice massage for the ego or a much-needed kick up the backside. Then you graduate, and that familiarity is gone. All of a sudden, you’re faced with trying to find a job or get onto graduate schemes. No-one’s giving you feedback. It can feel like no-one actually knows you exist.
So feel that fear and then move past it. You will build a structure of your own and in time, it’ll feel every bit as familiar as the one you had previously. Life after graduation is as much a learning curve as your education was.