My Mother’s Wars by Lillian Faderman, Beacon Press, 2013, ISBN 978-0-8070-50952-1; 243 pages, $25.95
By Donald H. Harrison
This book is a cross between history and fiction; in it Lillian Faderman, well known for her writings on gay and lesbian subjects, examines the heterosexual life of her own single mother up to the time the author was born. Mother Mary Luft had been sent from Latvia at age 17 to New York City to live with a half-sister and her husband, but was kicked out because they disapproved of her dance-all-night life style. So, Mary who subsequently supported herself as a worker in a dress factory, lived a good part of her life in a boarding house until eventually she and the lover who refused to marry her, Morris Federman, shared expenses on a small apartment.
The book is a little shocking to those of us who would prefer to be circumspect when thinking of our parents’ sex lives, if we think about that subject at all. Faderman, on the other hand, is quite explicit—and she says this is not the product of her imagination; her mother was very candid—perhaps too candid – when discussing such subjects with Lillian.
What makes this love-starved factory worker’s tale relevant from a Jewish historical standpoint is that Faderman movingly traces the evolution of Mary’s emotions from concern to panic as the Nazi threat develops in Germany and spreads to her relatives in Latvia. We see Mary calling on every Jewish agency possible seeking immigration assistance for her younger brother and his family as she finally realizes that they are in mortal danger from the Nazi lunacy.
Along the way, we are treated to large dollops of Jewish guilt. Had Mary focused on her job, instead of on bad boy Morris, she might have saved enough money to pay for her family members’ passage to the United States. And instead of having to have two abortions, she might have raised her own family.
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Harrison is editor of San Diego Jewish World. He may be contacted at donald.harrison@sdjewishworld.com