By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO– Russia has approached the United States about transferring Chelsea (Bradley) Manning to Russian custody. It urged the United States to drop the 35 year sentence against him for leaking classified documents in return for Russia imposing a hefty fine and jailing him for a year for promoting a transgender lifestyle.
John Boehner has threatened a “whale of a fight” over raising the debt ceiling. In response President Obama has borrowed a copy of Moby Dick from the Library of Congress and consulted with the trainers at Sea World.
Undeterred by the criticism of her raunchy performance at the MTV Video Awards, Miley Cyrus has announced she will be a contestant on the new reality TV show “So You Think You Can Pole Dance?” She plans to take lessons from Brittany Spears.
Now that the United States is preparing a reprisal against Syria for using sarin gas against its own citizens, President Assad has become more brazen. “When asked why he did it, he replied, “It would cost more and take too much time to build gas chambers.” Taunting the Americans, he inquired, “Why weren’t you indignant when I killed tens of thousands of other Syrians with more convention weapons?”
Facing an expanded investigation into allegations of sexual abuse of male students by staff members, Yeshiva University has retained Vatican attorneys who specialize in this field. Upon hearing this development, Pope France purportedly wondered, “Who are we to judge?”
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Baron is professor emeritus of education at San Diego State University. He may be contacted at laurie.baron@sdjewishworld.com