Humoring the Headlines: December 8, 2013

By Laurie Baron

Lawrence (Laurie) Baron
Lawrence (Laurie) Baron

SAN DIEGO―As happens this time annually, conservatives are decrying the secular war on Christmas.  Having Christmas designated a national holiday, having a national Christmas tree, and having the media flooded with Christmas advertisements and messages from Thanksgiving until December 25th does constitute a war, but it is being waged against people who don’t celebrate Christmas.

Rush Limbaugh has labeled Pope Francis a Marxist for his criticism of capitalism.  According to Limbaugh’s edition of the Gospels, Jesus urged the moneychangers to stay in the Temple because they were too big to fail.  He told the Apostles, “Damned are the meek, for they shall inherit the debt.”   Given the opportunity to feed the hungry, Jesus cut the budget for bread and fish stamps.

It was revealed this week that President Obama resided with his Kenyan uncle Onyango Obama for several weeks before entering Harvard Law School. During that brief period his uncle allegedly destroyed his nephew’s Kenyan birth certificate and replaced it with one from Hawaii while training him to be an Islamic revolutionary who would run for president so he could impose Sharia law on the United States and enable Iran to build nuclear weapons.

Ted Cruz’ Facebook page was deluged by postings condemning his praise of Nelson Mandela.  Cruz apologized and claimed he thought Willie Nelson had died.

The Republican dominated Michigan legislature has introduced a bill banning abortion coverage in standard medical insurance policies.  Women who seek abortions will have to purchase a separate policy to have the procedure reimbursed.  Progressives in the state have countered with a bill that would require any lawmaker who voted to ratify abortion insurance to purchase separate lobotomy insurance.

Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  He may be contacted at lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com