By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO-The Russian police have alerted spectators at the Sochi Olympics to be on the outlook for several “Black Widow Terrorists, women from Dagestan whose husbands were killed by Russian anti-terrorist squads. There are posters throughout the Olympic venues informing spectators how to identify these women: If you meet a woman on the internet dating site www.iharmuandme.bom, she’s probably a terrorist. If you see her planting IED’s on the Ski Jump, she’s probably a terrorist. If she thinks dying as a martyr will guarantee her a a spot on Al-Jazeera’s version of the Bachelorette, she’s probably a terrorist. If the PIN codes for all her credit cards are 911, she’s probably a terrorist.
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Wendy Davis, the Democratic candidate for Texas governor, has been accused of lying on her official bio when she said she lived in a trailer park for several years. It turns out it was only for several months. Only in Texas is the length of time a candidate spent living in a trailer park a criterion for election.
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The Republicans want to repeal a law that imposes penalties on individuals and corporations who shelter their income from US taxes by depositing it in offshore accounts. The Democrats responded by introducing legislation to make the Cayman Islands the 51st state.
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The Mars Rover found a donut shaped rock on the surface of the red planet. NASA Scientists called it the first sign of Martians having their own police force.
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Freedom Industries, the company responsible for the spill of the chemical MCHM into West Virginia’s water supply, has disclosed that it also leaked polyglycol into the state’s rivers. In its official statement, the company refused to issue an apology and claimed the pollution was a mixed blessing. Although the state’s water is no longer drinkable, the company’s spokesperson noted, it can be used as a substitute for gasoline in cars.
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Lawrence Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University . He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com