By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO-The shakeup at Manischewitz continues. To maximize profits, its new owner, a subsidiary of Bane Capital, has decided to produce Yom Kippur foods targeted at Jews who eat on the Day of Atonement. The company is still debating whether this line of products will be called Half Fast or Not So Fast.
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The government has deployed troops to stop secessionists from encroaching on its lands. The secessions have rallied armed supporters to fight back. This scenario is unfolding on a cattle ranch in Nevada and not in the Ukraine.
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Brainstorming about what to broadcast after Malaysian Airlines Flight 370 is found, the management at CNN has decided to renew the search for Jimmy Hoffa’s body and Amelia Earhart’s airplane,
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Astronomers have discovered a distant planet whose features closely resemble Earth’s and speculate that it may have climate, oxygen, and water to sustain life. Confirming this thesis, a more powerful telescope has detected McDonalds Restaurants and Starbucks Cafes dotting the planet’s surface.
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Senate Republicans rejected the Paycheck Fairness Act for the third time. President Obama argued that women receive only 77 cents for every dollar men make for performing the same tasks. Republicans dispute his contention by citing a Pew Research Center study that says the figure is actually 84 cents. They, however, are willing to compromise and mandate that women earn 80.5 cents for every dollar their male counterparts earn.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com