Humoring the Headlines: May 10, 2014

By Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO-Vladimir Putin is sending mixed messages to the world. One day he says he’ll withdraw his troops from the border of eastern Uktaine; the next he is celebrating the triumph of the annexation of the Crimea. When reporters questioned what his plans for Ukrine were, he cryptically replied, “Donetsk don’t tell.”
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The House of Representatives faces many important votes on immigration reform, restoring emergency unemployment benefits and food stamps to those who lost them, and raising the minimum wage. but it has decided to table them all to investigate a more pressing problem, “Is Hillary responsible for Benghazi?”
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The North Korean press agency has denounced Barack Obama as a “wicked black monkey.” To avoid charges of racism, it added that Dennis Rodman is a “good black monkey.”
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Apple has purchased Beats electronics. Consumers have complained that the new headphones only play contemplative Zen music instead of Hip Hop music.
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Conservative pundits charge that the scandal over long delays for appointments at the VA hospitals is merely a scheme to get veterans to switch to Obama Care.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com