Humoring the Headlines: May 13, 2014

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron
Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO-Donald Sterling asked for forgiveness for making racist remarks to his mistress during his interview with Anderson Cooper broadcast on CNN.  Journalists have doubted his sincerity because he allegedly was overheard after the program saying how relieved he was that Don Lemon wasn’t assigned to interview him.
*
When the St. Louis Rams announced that the team had drafted Michael Sam, Sam kissed and hugged his partner.  Many NFL fans were shocked because they had expected him to celebrate with his friends by dressing up as The Village People and singing “YMCA.”
*
Iran announced it had replicated the technology of an American drone it had shot down.  Israel announced that it has started building an anti-drone drone.

Colorado pot growers and distributors continue to have trouble finding banks that will handle their accounts since federal law still considers pot an illegal substance.  They are now conferring with Mitt Romney about the advantages of opening offshore accounts.

*
Ukrainian separatists have claimed victory in the referendum to secede from the Ukraine and unite with Russia in the future.  Approximately 90 per cent of the votes cast favored greater autonomy from the Ukraine with the option to join Russia.  Vladimir Putin hailed the results as an accurate reflection of popular opinion in the Donetsk and Luhansk Provinces because the voting and ballot counting was closely supervised by a team of North Korean election monitors.

*

Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com