Humoring the Headlines
By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO- ISIS declared that one objective of the Islamic State it has established is to overthrow Barack Obama. John Boehner and Mitch McConnell have contacted ISIS about coordinating their efforts.
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Customers have complained about Walmart selling posters of the infamous Dachau gate which bore the slogan “Arbeit Macht Frei” (Work Sets You Free). Walmart apologized by explaining that it was unaware of the source of the photograph and thought the German phrase meant “work for almost free.”
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The Supreme Court ruled that “closely held family” corporations can exercise their first amendment religious rights to exempt female employees from receiving health insurance coverage for forms of birth control the family owners deem tantamount to abortion, It also ruled that pro-life protestors have a right to conduct their demonstrations against women seeking abortions without any buffer zone. Pro-choice advocates are considering forming a corporation to protect the rights of women to have an abortion without being denounced and harassed.
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The latest GM recall is the 54th this year, thus tying it with the number of times the House of Representatives has repealed Obama Care. The two groups have been selected as finalists for the upcoming World Cup of Redundancy.
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The United States is considering returning Murietta to Mexico as reparations for the bigotry displayed by anti-immigrant protestors there this week.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.