By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO-Since airlines are now prohibited from flying over the Ukraine, United Airlines has updated its motto: “Fly the friendly skies and avoid the hostile ones.”
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The Kalashnikov Concern, the manufacturer of AK-47s, is one of the companies affected by the new sanctions President Obama has imposed on Russia. In response the NRA issued the following statement to its members: “We warned that the Feds were coming to take away your guns.”
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Eric Holder drew criticism for suggesting that some of the criticism leveled against President Obama and him by Republicans is motivated by racism. Southern Republicans retorted, “We just don’t like being told what to do by uppity Kenyans ….”
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Irate over the decline of American power in the world, Dick Cheney declared, “Defense ought to be our top priority for spending. Not food stamps, not highways or anything else.” French newspapers translated his comment literally as meaning, “Let them eat guns and drive Humvies.”
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Day Care Centers in Israel and Gaza have banned the telling of the story of Chicken Little.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.