By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO- Even though ISIS held Steven Sotloff captive for over a year before it beheaded him, the group apparently had no idea that he was Jewish or held Israeli Citizenship because he went under the alias of Moshe Cohen.
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Oscar Pistorius was found guilty of negligent homicide for mistaking his girlfriend for a burglar and killing her. Although it is uncertain how long his prison sentence will be, he is seriously considering accepting an offer to join the Ferguson Police Department after his release.
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Scotland is on the eve of a referendum over whether to remain a part of the United Kingdom or become a sovereign state. In a related story, Vladimir Putin expressed his support for a no vote.
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The Koch Brothers celebrated the Senate’s failure to muster enough votes for a constitutional amendment to reverse the Citizens United decision. Political action committees funded by the brothers are now lobbying for adding a green stripe to the American flag and replacing the stars with dollar signs.
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The NFL admitted that playing football is likely to injure the brains of its players, but denied that the players are likely to injure their wives and girlfriends.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.