Humoring the headlines: October 29, 2014

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron
Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO─ The current buzzword in American politics is “quarantine.”
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Governor Christie imposed a quarantine for all people returning from travel in Ebola-stricken areas of Africa and interned a nurse who had worked there in a make-shift tent near a hospital.  After yielding to pressure to allow her to return home, he is rumored to have tented her house and fumigated it before she arrived back.

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All airbags manufactured in the past by Takata Corporation will be quarantined forever if car owners heed the recall notices they receive.

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Right-to-Lifers have called for a nine month quarantine on any woman who has a positive pregnancy test.

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Many red states plan to quarantine likely Democratic voters until after next week’s election; whereas many Democratic candidates want to quarantine President Obama until then as well.

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Most voters are demanding that advertising agencies, political action committees, and robo-callers responsible for funding, phoning, or writing campaign ads be quarantined until the primaries of 2016.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com   San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.