By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO─ Fox News’ reporters are apoplectic about Obama’s Executive Order to defer the deportation of millions of undocumented aliens. They accuse him of permitting potential carriers of Ebola, drug dealers, felons, and terrorists to remain in the country. Meanwhile, the FCC has requested the network to change its slogan from “Fair and Balanced” to “Scare and Jaundiced.”
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Supporters of the Keystone Pipeline failed to muster enough votes to prevent a filibuster in the Senate. President Obama hinted he is willing to compromise on the matter if everyone voting to approve the project is willing to let the pipeline run through their backyards.
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Drones have been spotted flying dangerously near JFK airport prompting terrorists around the world to suspend plots to bomb airliners. Instead, they have outsourced these efforts to Americans who fly drones as a hobby.
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The Drug Enforcement Agency conducted random inspections for evidence of illegal painkillers and narcotics in a number of NFL locker rooms. In response the NRA has offered to arm NFL teams to prevent the government “from taking away our games.”
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Jet Blue announced that it will add seats to its airplanes reducing the amount of legroom passengers have. It also will start charging for bags─ not only checked luggage but also for the bags passengers use when they get nauseous.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com . San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.