By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO─ Shortly before he was killed by a policeman, Michael Brown was caught on videotape stealing cigarillos from a convenience store. Stopped for illegally selling individual cigarettes from a pack, Eric Garner was choked to death by a policeman trying to subdue him. What is more hazardous to heath, tobacco products or being an African American male?
*
Volcanologists in Japan have warned that a major volcano eruption could destroy their country. Detroit greeted the warning by preparing for an uptick in auto production.
*
The Center for Disease Control revealed that this year’s flu shot won’t be effective against many of the strains of flu that are expected to inflect Americans during the upcoming winter. The CDC plans to put up signs at vaccination centers that will read, “At least it won’t be as bad as Ebola.”
*
With the probable defeat of Mary Landrieu in her bid for election to the senate, the US Fish and Wildlife Service is considering declaring southern Democrats an endangered species.
*
The House passed the “Preventing Executive Overreach on Immigration Act.” Although the Republicans there recognize that it will not be approved by the current Democratic Senate, they tried to make it more attractive to moderates by dropping its original name: “The Red Meat for the Base Bill.”
*
Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com . San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.