By Michael Mantell, PhD
SAN DIEGO — There is a little known custom involving Chanukah gelt worth understanding. It was customary to give children Chanukah gelt on the fifth day of the holiday. Why the fifth day?
It’s the only day of Chanukah that can never come out on Shabbat. You see Chanukah never starts on Monday night, so by assigning the fifth night for giving Chanukah gelt there is no chance that anyone would violate the traditional observance of Shabbat with the movement of money.
Why is this important to understand? Because in a sense, this tradition belies the very essence of Chanukah – Tradition, Authenticity. Celebrating the Hasmonean victory over assimilation. Marking the triumph over the Greeks who did not allow us to study Torah and keep mitzvos.
It also points, then, to how the holiday has become so perverted in our assimilated culture – a “fake Christmas” if you will, complete with “Shalom stockings hanging from the Chanukah bush.” By making Chanukah into a substitute Christmas, we leave an indelible stain and blemish on our children, then wonder why, later as teens, they turn away from Judaism.
Why? The answer is not simple, but in part relates to the burlesque parody some parents tragically create by creating a substitute Christmas, thereby effectively stomping on the heads of those who fought to allow Torah learning and keeping mitzvos in the first place.
Instead of turning the 25th of Kislev (the first night of Chanukah) into an opportunity to rededicate the hearts and souls of children and return them to the enchantment and joy of Judaism, too often parents naively and misguidedly turn their children back to the Greeks who issued decrees against Israel to abolish our religion. So years later, what’s the surprise when they actually do turn away from our religion?
You don’t think our culture encourages this return to secular domination over Judaism? This is what the non-Jewish Chaplain of the U.S. Senate once noted: “We demand freedom without restraint, rights without responsibility, choice without consequence, pleasure without pain, in our narcissistic, hedonistic, masochistic, valueless preoccupations. We are becoming a people dominated by lusts, avarice and greed.” Yes, even the non-Jewish world recognizes the catastrophe that is occurring.
Newsweek Magazine, back in July 1991, observed the reality of American Jewish life rededicating itself to the Greeks: “While most American Jews try to get through life with no more knowledge of Judaism than what a 13 year-old can master for his Bar Mitzvah, in today’s America that is not enough wisdom or commitment to maintain a durable identity as a Jew.” When the New York Times reported back in 1990 that 600,000 American Jews converted out of Judaism, this gateway to oblivion included many youngsters. So years later, what’s the surprise when they actually do turn away from our religion?
Raising children Jewishly in our troubled times requires understanding the dangers that lurk behind relying on the minimum value system with which we can get by. We don’t give our children the minimum science, math or English curriculum. Yet, when it comes to passing along our heritage, there is a sense that one can go overboard. So years later, what’s the surprise when they actually do turn away from our religion?
This year, we can approach Chanukah with real joy in knowing that we are elevating and enriching the Jewish victory over assimilation. Or, instead we can approach it with a sense of perverted joy in knowing that we are “protecting our children from becoming…too Jewish.”
Madison Avenue sees billions of dollars passing through its thoroughfare, much of it aimed at enticing and attracting our youngsters to a world of nothingness and emptiness. This year, protect your children from this seduction by deepening their understanding of what Chanukah is really all about. Lighting candles is nice. It’s not enough. Spinning a dreidel is cute. It’s not enough. Latkes are delicious. They aren’t enough. Singing a couple of lovely Chanukah melodies can be entertaining. The songs aren’t enough. These customs would not have been enough to overcome the Greek effort to abolish our religion. In today’s society, that is so much more enticing to our children, perhaps a good first step is a simple one. Give Chanukah gelt on the fifth night, and explain why we do this to your children.
Heighten your awareness of the importance of what this nice little holiday is really all about. Focus on the consequences of what you are doing – and not doing — and what you are accomplishing as a family. You can infuse your home with meaning or with emptiness.
Whatever you choose, years later, don’t be surprised.
Happy Chanukah.
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Mantell is author of the just published 25th Anniversary Edition of his 1988 original, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff — PS It’s All Small Stuff.
To purchase a copy, connect to Amazon by clicking on the picture of his book on the right hand panel. Comments on the above column may be placed in the box provided below or you may contact the author directly via michael.mantell@sdjewishworld.com