Humoring the headlines: December 16, 2014

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron
Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO─ The group that hacked SONY Studios has threatened to attack theatres that screen The Interview, a comedy in which Seth Rogen and James Franco are recruited by the CIA to assassinate North Korean leader Kim Jong-un.  Without this publicity, the movie probably would have bombed without the help of terrorists.

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China has banned the playing of the national anthem at funerals and weddings.  Tens of millions of betrothed couples and people with terminally ill friends were relieved that they finally could play Whitney Houston’s theme from The Bodyguard.

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The Senate finally confirmed President Obama’s nominee for Surgeon General despite opposition from the NRA which objected to the nominee’s comment that gun control was a public health issue.  According to the NRA, it only becomes a public health issue if the shooter has a bad aim.

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As the number of women charging Bill Cosby with drugging and raping them mounts, investigative reporters have discovered that Dr. Cliff Huxtabel was stealing Rufies from the hospital where he worked during the entire time The Cosby Show was on the air.

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Citigroup was tempted to mail out bonus checks to all the members of Congress who voted to approve the new federal budget and its provision for bailing out big banks that fail.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com  .  San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.