Humoring the headlines: January 22, 2015

By Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO─ Dovish political parties opposed to Benjamin Netanyahu’s policies have violated diplomatic protocol by inviting President Obama to address the Knesset.  Just kidding!  Inviting the leader of another country to interfere in the elections and foreign relations of one’s own could never happen─ at least not in Israel.

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Worried that the measles epidemic traced to Disneyland will hurt attendance, the theme park has announced plans to open a new section of the park called Viral Valley.  Only unvaccinated children will be admitted to rides like the Mumps Jump, the Looping Whooping, and Chickenpox Run.

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Judging by John Boehner’s grimaces during President Obama’s State of the Union address, he either hated the policies proposed by the President or has several extremely painful hemorrhoids.

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During his State of the Union Address, President Obama asserted that “In Iraq and Syria, American leadership   — including our military power — is stopping ISIL’s advance.”  In historical perspective, his assessment seems Chamberlainesque in its optimism.

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Even Fox News had to retract Steve Emerson’s claim that Europe is full of No-Go Zones that are controlled by Muslim immigrants and ruled by Sharia law.  Emerson disputed the retraction noting that he feels uncomfortable visiting any of these neighborhoods after making his statement.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com  .  San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.