By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO─ Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu will tell Congress that Israel faces an imminent nuclear attack if Iran is allowed to manufacture an atom bomb. At the end of his speech, he will urge American Jews to make Aliyah to Israel because it is the only place Jews can be safe.
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Deflate-gate was the lead story on most network and cable news programs this past week. That deflated whatever respect audiences still had for the journalistic integrity of television news anchors and executive producers.
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Free copies of Bob Dylan’s new album will be included in the next issue of the AARP’s magazine. It includes songs like The Times They Have Changed, Flatulence in the Wind, Like a Rolling Kidney Stone, and Just Like a Crone.
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Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz, and Rand Paul attended a retreat hosted by the Koch Brothers to convince them to finance their presidential bids in 2016. After the potential candidates met with the brothers, they were given rolls of toilet paper to wipe their noses.
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President Obama issued an executive order to set aside an Arctic nature preserve in Alaska that was slated for gas and oil exploration. When asked why he was doing this by Alaskan politicians, he replied, “I want Sarah Palin to continue to see Russia from her house.”
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com . San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.