Humoring the headlines: June 3, 2015

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron
Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO─ Benjamin Netanyahu told reporters that “all of Israel is behind the Cavaliers” in the NBA championship series because its coach David Blatt is an Israeli American.  He added that he’s a big fan of the team’s Jewish superstar L’Chaim James.

*

Republican presidential hopefuls are attending an “economic summit” at Disney World in Florida.  At a session held in Fantasy Land, they outlined their plans to cut corporate taxes, rescind Dodd-Frank, and lower federal spending to stimulate economic growth.

*

Donald Trump claims that he has devised a “beautiful plan to defeat ISIS, but that it needs to remain a secret.”  Sources close to Trump revealed that he plans to build a chain of casinos in ISIS controlled territory to bankrupt the Islamic State.

*

The Senate has approved the USA Freedom Act which ends the NSA’s collection of metadata on the phone calls of American citizens and outsources this violation of privacy to telephone companies.

*

In the wake of indictments against high-ranking FIFA officials, Seth Blatter resigned from being the head of the organization.  In a related story Vladimir Putin appointed him Russia’s new sports Czar.

*

Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com .  San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.

__________________________________________________________________
Care to comment?  We require the following information on any letter for publication: 1) Your full name 2) Your city and state (or country) of residence. Letters lacking such information will be automatically deleted. San Diego Jewish World is intended as a forum for the entire Jewish community, whatever your political leanings. Letters may be posted below provided they are responsive to the article that prompted them, and civil in their tone.  Ad hominem attacks against any religion, country, gender, race, sexual orientation, or physical disability will not be considered for publication. There is a limit of one letter per writer on any given day.
__________________________________________________________________