By Gary Rotto
SAN DIEGO — Just about four years ago, we had to make a very difficult decision. My daughter had attended the San Diego Jewish Academy (SDJA) for nine years – from kindergarten through eighth grade, to the cusp of high school. But we needed to make a decision on where she would spend the next four years.
We had come to SDJA with goal of providing a solid Jewish background, one based on the pluralistic model of the range of Jewish practice and understanding of our heritage. She experienced so many things at SDJA, from the learning of Hebrew, to understanding the differences in what lunch would look like on dairy days from meat days, to the tragic loss of a beloved teacher in kindergarten to representing the school in sports. She experienced a small school environment in which she received very personalized attention in the lower school.
But social concerns and financial pressures forced us to look hard at the next four years. With great concern, I agreed that our daughter should attend Canyon Crest Academy (CCA). The good was that CCA was not far away in Carmel Valley. The school had a reputation for focusing on the arts, for social inclusiveness, and for reflecting the community ethnically – which meant that there would still be many Jewish students at her school. There would theoretically be an easy transition so that she would not have be marked down for exams given on the High Holidays (as it sure seemed like a third to half the student body was missing on Yom Kippur) or having to miss class on a Friday to fly to a relative’s Bat Mitzvah. But I still had concerns about how my little 9th grader would interact in a big school.
My concerns subsided within a month. My daughter had reunited with another friend who had left SDJA a few years earlier, she recognized other students including a friend since preschool at the JCC. She developed a strong and large group of friends – and was willing to talk to teachers for clarification about assignments or extra help. This was my biggest concern: feeling comfortable to ask for help at a big school. She took photography classes that expanded her love of this craft, dance and art to enrich her life and far too many AP classes. And while not immersed in the totality of a Jewish day school, her identity was intact and continued to blossom as she continued with outside endeavors in the Jewish community.
One of the refrains that I had heard before leaving SDJA was “but the guidance counselors really get to know your child here. They’ll write a much more personalized letter of recommendation.” That might be true, but if that was the only reason to stay, would that letter be worth the $80,000 in tuition costs?
Students came and went between SDJA and CCA for various reasons over the four years. She recognized additional students who, like her had attended SDJA.
“Look at that photo,” one parent remarked to me at graduation as we looked at the front row, “How ironic it is that there’s three students standing together who all knew each other at SDJA,” she continued. Ironic but nice that they had a fairly common experience attending the two schools.
The choice to attend CCA is not for every student. And the choice to attend SDJA is not for every student. But as concerned as I was about how my little, shy 9th grader would do at such a large school, my graduating senior, as well as her younger sophomore and junior self, had demonstrated great confidence with her teachers, availed herself of the many opportunities afforded at a large school and found a social niche. It’s a place at which she certainly thrived. It’s a choice I’m glad that she convinced me would be the right one for time has shown that it was right for her. And that is all that we can hope for as parents , that our children have the opportunity to learn, to mature, and the grow into self-confident, grounded young adults.
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Rotto is a freelance writer based in San Diego. You may comment to him at gary.rotto@sdjewishworld.com or post your comment on this website provided that the comment is civil and that you identify yourself by full name and city and state of residence.
We received this letter from Heidi Gantwerk, a parent of students at San Diego Jewish Academy:
As a parent who decided to move all three of my sons from public school to the San Diego Jewish Academy for High School, I read with interest Gary Rotto’s piece on his daughter’s successful transition from SDJA to (and graduation from-Mazel Tov!) Canyon Crest Academy for High School. I am so happy for her success and it sounds like his daughter is more than ready for the next exciting step in her education. As I read the piece, I couldn’t help but think about how important a role her years at SDJA must have had in preparing her to be so successful in a much larger high school. All those qualities that lead to success “out there”; menschlekeit, a sense of self, the ability to advocate for oneself, and the confidence to experiment with unfamiliar subjects are all qualities I see nurtured every day by the faculty and staff at SDJA. And they are qualities our high school graduates exemplify when they head off to colleges and universities across the country and around the world.
High School at SDJA is small, and it is certainly more costly than a public school education, therefore not a possibility for everyone, and having 9 years of an SDJA education is certainly a huge investment. But we made the choice to move our children there for high school because we believed it would prepare our children for the larger world, rather than shelter them from it. High school at SDJA is, for many students, an “elevating” experience. They can experiment with many subjects and activities in a small, supportive, environment alongside a surprisingly diverse Jewish student body.
Collectively, my sons (one in the class of ’14 and two in the class of ’18) have worked on the yearbook, played 4 different sports, written for the school paper, chanted the Megillah at Purim, supported the school’s Moot Beit Din competition, won a regional award in the Greater San Diego County Science Fair, emceed talent shows, learned guitar, composed music for the advanced music ensemble, worked in the school’s sustainable garden and much more. They have traveled to, and learned in, Boston, Washington, New Orleans (with Habitat for Humanity) not to mention a remarkable trip with the senior class to Poland and Israel. They have celebrated Chanukah, Yom Ha’Atzmaut, Pesach, Lag B’Omer and more alongside their peers. And they have commemorated Yom Ha’Shoah and Yom Hazikaron in ways that create important connections to Israel and to the Jewish people, and memories that will last a lifetime. And two of them have only been there one year!
My older son graduated from the academy a year ago and has just finished his freshman year studying at a joint program between Columbia University and the Jewish Theological Seminary, for which the Academy prepared him well. We also currently have twins entering their sophomore year in high school. All started SDJA in 9th grade, and thus far, we are very happy with the choice we made to spend these four years of high school in a nurturing, Jewish environment. All three of our sons felt welcomed and fully engaged from the minute they stepped on campus, in ways that they had not experienced in our local public schools. It is, no doubt, a real financial sacrifice for us, especially with one now in college, but we feel it has been the right choice for all of our children. Yes, the school is small, but they feel part of a true community with a core Jewish identity, and the opportunities their SDJA experience opens up to them make it all worth it.