By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO─ Greeks decisively defeated the referendum to accept the European Union’s terms for repaying their country’s debt. Now that the future of whether Greece will keep the Euro as its currency is uncertain, some Greek politicians have proposed Drachmonian measures.
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Holy water drawn from the Jordan River was used to baptize Princess Charlotte. The Palestinian Authority immediately filed a grievance with the UN that an imperialist power was diverting its water supply.
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A deposition Bill Cosby gave in 2005 revealed that he had drugged women to have sex with them. Although his accusers charge him with giving them Quaaludes, he claimed he gave one woman Benadryl presumably because he surmised she was allergic to rape.
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Florida will conduct an inquiry into the mistreatment of monkeys raised by breeders in the state. Initially prompted by a video released by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, Republican presidential candidates are now searching for Donald Trump’s birth certificate in the confiscated records of the monkey mills.
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President Obama told the nation that the struggle against ISIS is progressing but it will be a slow process to defeat the group. He also conferred with Mayor Rahm Emanuel about the possibility of Chicago’s gangs training the Iraqi Army.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com . San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.