By Michael R. Mantell, PhD
SAN DIEGO–Imagine waking up in the next century with those words made famous by Regis Philbin, sandblasting its way into our popular lexicon: “Is that your final answer?” Along with “Where’s the beef?” and “Yada Yada Yada,” not to mention, “You look mahvelous,” “I’ve a feeling were not in Kansas anymore,” and “Lucy, honey, I’m home,” these television catch phrases have become part of our everyday vocabulary.
One thousand years ago, spoken language in England had little or no resemblance to our current language. One thousand years from now, therefore, there is no reason to assume that people will understand our vocabulary – or these popularized phrases. Indeed, Sol Steinmetz, the great American lexicographer said once in a William Safire piece in the New York Times, “It is impossible for any living language not to change.” Steinmetz sees, “A great expansion from the currently conservative estimate of half a million to well over a million words.”
For a somewhat different perspective, one that has survived over three thousand years without much change, we turn to the Torah for wisdom in this area. The Torah teaches us that the words we choose determine how we experience our lives. The well-known rabbi and teacher of evils of loshon hara or gossip, the Chofetz Chaim, tells us that by taking hold of the power of our speech, we take hold of life itself. Words, more than any other human capacity, define who we are. What we say and how we say it is who we are.
An analogy made by two authors writing on the subject, Rabbis Shimon Finkelman and Yitzchak Berkowitz, point to an interesting phenomenon about the unique nature of the tongue. It is partly hidden and partly revealed. It is usually not seen, but it is always heard when we speak. Perhaps G-d created and designed the tongue to reflect its function, which is to reveal the hidden self – one’s thoughts, ideas and personality. The tongue takes these hidden elements from within the person and through words, brings them into the open.
Think about the words you use in your day-to-day vocabulary. Do you curse? Do you often sound angry? Do you often sound rushed? Do you often sound negative? A few careless words between you and your friend can be all that is needed to forever alter the relationship. Words once spoken can never be taken back.
Words of encouragement can help a person reach great heights. Words of criticism can destroy a marriage. Words turn a glass of wine on a Friday evening or Saturday afternoon into Kiddush. Words can turn a man and woman into husband and wife. Words can redefine reality.
The words and phrases you use can increase mutual respect among your friends, family and co-workers. Using words, which focus on the good in others, will allow you to bring light and goodness into the world – which it sorely needs.
In fact, Jewish Sages have taught us that the good words one uses and the compassion one shows in judging and speaking about others, favorably arouses Heaven’s compassion towards himself.
Imagine waking up in the next century filled with television catch phrases. Instead, I hope that I will be able to guard my mouth and tongue from speaking ill of people, to avoid words of falsehood, strife, anger, arrogance, hurt, embarrassment, mockery and other negative forms of speech. So here is a representative list of phrases that have been around, seemingly, forever, and I trust will surely be here when Y3K is celebrated – they are that enduring.
You did a great job
You’re special
You’re right on target
That was thoughtful of you
You made it happen
You’re spectacular
I am so impressed
I knew you had it in you
Phenomenal
I appreciate you
You’re a winner
Great job
Good thinking
How original
Nothing can stop you now
Fabulous effort
Your help counts
Thanks for everything
That was outstanding
I have faith in you
You outdid yourself
You look lovely
I’m proud of you
You are so talented
You added a lot
I knew I could count on you
I couldn’t have done better myself
That’s incredible
Get the idea? Try these phrases and leave Regis Philbin’s phrases to someone else. You will certainly earn more than millions with these phrases. You will earn the love, friendship, care and admiration of those close to you and bring genuinely good feelings to others. What more could anyone want waking up in the next century? And that’s my final answer.
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Dr Michael Mantell, based in San Diego, provides coaching to business leaders, athletes, individuals and families to reach breakthrough levels of success and significance in their professional and personal lives. Mantell may be contacted via michael.mantell@sdjewishworld.com