By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO─ The Food and Drug Administration approved the use of OxyContin for children as young as 11 years old. When a reporter asked why kids that young would require the medication, an FDA official asked, “Do you know how painful it is to be a middle school student?”
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Donald Trump dramatically landed at the Iowa State Fair in his private helicopter. His descent was accompanied by blasting the Flight of the Valkyries over loudspeakers; the ascent was accompanied by a conservative choir singing Handel’s Messiah.
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Straight Outta Compton had the highest box-office take of any movie playing at American theatres this past weekend. Straight Outta Ferguson has not been playing as well in predominantly white neighborhoods.
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President Obama wrote an Op Ed piece in the New York Times urging Congress to restore the Voting Rights Act. Unfortunately, the majority of the citizens in the states that have passed voter suppression legislation never read the New York Times.
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Los Angeles dumped 96,000,000 blackballs into its water reservoirs to reduce evaporation. The Guinness Book of Records confirmed that not only is this the most balls ever dumped at one time, but also that it is the first time the term blackball has had a positive connotation.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com . San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.