The Republican presidential debate
By Laurie Baron
MARGATE, New Jersey — CNN advertised the debate like it was a boxing match in which some of the candidates would be knocked senseless in the ensuing exchanges. It turned out that the views of many of the candidates on abortion, childhood inoculations, gay marriage, the minimum wage, and taxation indicated they were senseless before the debate even began.
*
The debate was held at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library with Air Force One looming large behind the podium. After hearing the effusive praise showered on Reagan by all the candidates, one wondered why Reagan even needed an airplane since he apparently had wings.
*
Donald Trump awkwardly tried to make amends for belittling Carly Fiorina’s face by telling her how beautiful she was. Last week Kentucky Senator Jodi Ernst warned him to respect all the candidates regardless of their gender. If I were Trump, I’d be worried because Ernst campaigned on her record of castrating pigs.
*
Several of the candidates lauded Kentucky County Clerk Kim Davis for her courage in refusing to abide by the Supreme Court’s decision on gay marriage. No one mentioned how much courage it takes to be an openly gay married couple in a rural Kentucky county.
*
The second debate lasted over three hours even though the Oscars were not being awarded last night. Nevertheless, Fiorina emerged as the leading lady; Donald Trump as the best actor, and Jeb Bush as the best supporting brother.
*
Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. Currently serving as the Ida E. King Distinguished Visiting Professor of Holocaust Studies at the Richard Stockton College in Galloway, New Jersey, he may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com . San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.