By Laurie Baron
MARGATE, New Jersey‒ Right-wing groups are furious over Starbucks red and green holiday cup because it lacks any Christmas symbols. For them, it is just another sign of the war on Christmas. The outcry would have been much worse if Starbucks went ahead with its original plan to make the cups blue and white.
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The United States announced that it killed Jihadi John in a drone strike. If John had only listened to Christmas carols, he would have known not to sit under the missile glow.
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In this week’s Republican presidential debate, Marco Rubio touted vocational training over academic degrees by remarking that welders make more money than philosophers. Indeed, wasn’t it Jean-Paul Spark who said, “I weld, therefore I earn.”
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Ben Carson finally showed some anger rebuffing Donald Trump’s charges that he still harbors the pathological mentality that haunted his youth. Perhaps Carson will abandon his campaign strategy which up until now has been guided by this principle: “Speak softly and let others carry loudly on with the crazy shtick.”
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A Google self-driving car was pulled over by a police officer for driving too slow. After the car failed to respond to the officer’s instructions, he tasered its guidance system.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. Currently serving as the Ida E. King Distinguished Visiting Professor of Holocaust Studies at the Richard Stockton College in Galloway, New Jersey, he may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.