Humoring the headlines: January 6, 2016

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron
Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO─ Donald Trump’s first television campaign ad reiterates his intention to build a wall on the Mexican border and make Mexico pay for it. To illustrate the porousness of the southern border, the ad features footage of refugees streaming across it. The problem is that the border in the film is Morocco’s. When asked about this deception, a Trump spokesperson said it demonstrated what the border would look like if Muslims controlled it.

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The Orthodox Union certified the medical marijuana products of Vireo Health as kosher. In its ruling it noted that a side effect is cravings to eat cholent, matzah ball soup, and lox and bagels.

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President Obama issued a series of executive actions tightening gun controls. One of them eliminated the loophole that allows corporations to purchase automatic weapons like machine guns. The NRA responded by having Mitt Romney remind voters that corporations are armed people too.

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If the gun toting right-wing protesters currently occupying the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge consisted of African America teenagers with water pistols, they would have been massacred the moment they stepped onto to the refuge.

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North Korea claims it has tested a hydrogen bomb. When asked by reporters why his country spends so much on its nuclear program instead of feeding its population, Kim Jong Un defiantly replied, “Let them eat yellow cake!”

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  He recently served as the Ida E. King Distinguished Visiting Professor of Holocaust Studies at the Richard Stockton University in Galloway, New Jersey. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com   San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.