The State of the Union in Review
By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO─Barack Obama gave his final State of the Union address yesterday. He titled it “The Great of the Union.”
Donald Trump could not resist rebutting the President’s speech. He called it, “The Hate of the Union.’
Although no longer a presidential candidate, Scott Walker celebrated his accomplishments as governor of Wisconsin by touting the “The Break of the Union.”
Chris Christie attended the banquet prior to the President’s address and gained “The Weight of the Union.”
Hillary Clinton trotted Bill Clinton out to deliver his response to Obama’s talk. Therein he spelled out his plan to become “The Mate of the Union.”
Mike Huckabee targeted his speech to the “Straight of the Union.”
Bernie Sanders focused on his tax plan which he dubbed “The Expropriate of the Union.”
Ted Cruz disputed charges that he was an “Expatriate of the Union.”
Rather than watch the speech, Ben Carson stayed at home to cement his reputation as “The Sedate of the Union.”
Jeb Bush realized that he will have to “Wait for the Union.”
John Kasich has learned that that he is too “Moderate for the Union.”
On immigration Marco Rubio will “Oscillate for the Union.”
Rand Paul’s fiscal conservatism has rendered him the “Cheapskate of the Union.”
Martin O’Malley’s campaign rebranded itself as the “Stagnate of the Union.”
Carly Fiorina recognizes that her only chance may be settling to be the “Running Mate of the Union.”
ISIS reiterated its claim to be the “Caliphate of the Union.”
Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com . San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.