By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO─ Track Palin faces domestic-violence charges after assaulting his girlfriend who was worried that he would commit suicide with an AR-15 rifle. His mother Sarah Palin blamed President Obama for Track’s mental instability because he hasn’t done enough to help returning veterans from Iraq who suffer from PTSD. Army psychiatrists treating Track have confirmed that Track suffers from PTSD: Post Traumatic Sarah Descent.
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Donald Trump and Ted Cruz have been trading insults in the days leading up to the Iowa Caucus. Trump has called Cruz a nasty guy who would be unable to work with Congress while Cruz considers Trump an establishment candidate who would compromise to make deals with Congress. In the land of the mindless, the one-track mind is king.
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ISIS has cut the salaries of its fighters in half. To protest this loss of income, a group of suicide bombers blew themselves without hurting anyone else. In a related story it was confirmed that ISIS destroyed a 1,400 year old Chaldean monastery in Iraq because the monks were not disturbing the peace.
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A former aide to Benjamin Netanyahu has dubbed Dan Shapiro, the new American ambassador to Israel, “a little Jewish boy” for expecting Israel to apply the law equally to Israeli settlers and Palestinians in the West Bank. Shapiro retorted that Netanyahu is a big bulvan.
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Chris Christie vetoed a bill that would deny gun permits to people convicted of carjacking. He believes that carjackers with guns pose no danger to the citizens of New Jersey because he can always close the bridges if they attempt to drive a hijacked car into or out of the state.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally. Comments intended for publication in the space below must be accompanied by the letter writer’s first and last name and by his/ her city and state of residence (city and country for those outside the U.S.)