Humoring the headlines: February 26, 2016

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron
Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO─ After his victory in the Nevada caucuses Donald Trump gloated over winning almost every demographic group including the poorly educated.  Echoing James Carville’s strategy from the 1992 Clinton campaign, Trump’s campaign manager proclaimed, “It’s the stupid, stupid.”

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In a surprise move Chris Christie endorsed Donald Trump for president.  The New York Daily News’ headline read: “GIRTHER BACKS BIRTHER.” Political pundits wonder if Trump will select Christie as his vice-president to soften his image.

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In last night’s debate Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz competed over which one of them supports Israel more.  Today Rubio announced that he would select Benjamin Netanyahu as his running mate while Cruz proposed converting undocumented aliens to Judaism and forcing them to make Aliyah.

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Ben Carson joined Ted Cruz in calling for the abolition of the IRS.  When asked what he would replace it with, he answered, “A very large cash register.”

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Meanwhile Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders are worried that they have been unable to generate as much interest as their Republican counterparts have among primary voters and the media.  After all, who wants to listen to civic discourse about issues, records, and sane proposals?  John Kasich shares their concerns.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com   San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.