A Jewish Veep for Trump?
By Joel H. Cohen
NEW YORK — Donald Trump, smarting about allegations that an ad issued by his campaign was anti-Semitic — and, by extension, that he is, too — is seeking a Jewish running mate to counter the claim.
According to an aide, who asked not to be named for fear of being fired, the presumptive Republican Presidential candidate’s first choice for Vice President was his 5-year-old granddaughter, Arabella.
“She’s obviously feminine and Jewish,” Trump reportedly commented, so she’d lock up the woman’s and Jewish votes for me. And she’s young enough to attract Bernie Sanders” rooters.” Another asset, he said, was that she’d easily pass being vetted.
But, Trump concluded, “The rigged system says a VP has to be at least 35 years old, so she’s out.”
He considered his daughter Ivanka, the infant’s mother (who’d converted to Judaism) and his Jewish son-in-law, but Ivanka cautioned that either choice would make the ticket “too inbred.” So he dropped those ideas.
Still thinking outside the box, he next considered an Israeli young woman he’d met years ago — whom he described as “not only a perfect 10, but she’d served in the Israeli army, so she knows how to handle terrorists.”
But he found again that “the rigged system” mandates that a candidate for Vice President has to be a natural-born U.S. citizen .”Some crooked person would surely bring up the birther issue,” Trump said, so he did not try to appoint her.
Trump briefly thought of Hadassah Lieberman, who had been through a Vice-Presidential campaign with her husband Joe, but “she doesn’t measure up to the hundreds of women who would love to be my running mate”
And among Jewish women in show business, Barbra Streisand and other, younger stars are too closely identified with supporting Hillary.
“And so, If the rigged system won’t let me name myself for the VP slot, I’ll have to pick Newt or Chris or one of the other goys, I mean guys, I’d been thinking about from the get-go.”
“Oy vay,” he sighed.
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San Diego Jewish World reminds readers who are new to this column that it is all in fun, and nothing above should be taken seriously. Cohen is a freelance writer based in New York. Comments intended for publication in the space below MUST be accompanied by the letter writer’s first and last name and by his/ her city and state of residence (city and country for those outside the United States.)