Democratic National Convention, Day 1
By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO — Unlike Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton will not appear at the convention every night. Instead she has placed a life-sized bobble head doll of herself in a pants suit near the podium to nod its head approvingly after every positive comment said about her.
*
Those attending the convention were shocked to see a crime scene chalk outline of a body in front of the bus stop for the Welles Fargo Center. It marks the spot where the Clinton campaign threw Debbie Wasserman Schultz under an arriving bus.
*
Many Bernie or Bust delegates booed any mention of Hillary Clinton. Sarah Silverman chided them for “being ridiculous.” Don’t they realize that voting for Trump as an alternative to Bernie would be like voting for George Wallace in 1968 because Eugene McCarthy didn’t win the nomination?
*
Based on the uniform level of civility and erudition displayed by the key speakers on the first night of the convention, the Democrats have made a calculated decision not to pander to Donald Trump’s favorite sector of the electorate, the poorly educated.
*
Responding to what he saw on TV, Donald Trump tweeted: “Too many black, brown, female, handicapped, illegal, Jewish speakers. Bad! Should have given those jobs to white American males!”
*
Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.