By Laurie Baron
Dear the Donald,
Ever since you descended down the escalator and warned us about the Mexicans, I have been one of your most loyal supporters. But lately I wonder if you are betraying your ideals. Why did you visit the enemy south of our border? Did the President of Mexico sell you drugs while you were there? You must have been under the influence of some narcotic if you forgot to demand that his country will pay the costs of building the Wall. And you failed to insult with some nasty name like Enrique the Sneak at the joint press conference. Is it true that he has dispatched a convoy of Taco Trucks Mexico to the United States to smuggle illegals to serve us Tacos and put the hard workers at McDonald’s and Kentucky Fried Chicken out of jobs?
And why are you talking about helping the African American community? You kept on saying you would make America great again for white people. That’s what I always heard, but now I can’t find any YouTube videos that contain those last three words. I suspect they have been destroyed by the biased media, just like the videos of Muslims celebrating 9/11 in New Jersey. Maybe you mean that a winning economy is like a rising tide which will raise all boats. I guess that’s fine so long as my boat is a yacht and the African Americans get dinghies. In any case check this whole outreach thing over with David Duke and the writers at Breitbart.
Finally, you no longer speak about barring all Muslims from the United States, only those coming from countries with a history of terrorism. You taught me that their religion encourages terrorism. If they come here, they will impose Cheerio law on all of us because they consider it holy. American women would be required to veil their faces. That’s OK for the ugly ones like Rosie O’Donnell and Carly Fiorina, but not for someone like your beautiful American wife Melania. What a waste to make her cover her body with a mini-cabana when she goes to the beach! Crooked Hillary, on the other hand, should wear an orange and black jumpsuit and a black hood after she is convicted of treason by a jury of her queers. LOL!
Maybe I should ignore that you are trying to win over more moderate voters. Just don’t forget, after you are elected, it was us poorly educated whites who got you this far.
Yours Truly,
Forest Trump
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.