SAN DIEGO─ Last week the Libertarian Party candidate for President Gary Johnson was asked what he thought the United States should do about Aleppo. After initially not recognizing what Aleppo was, he guessed the interviewer was referring to the fifth Marx Brother.
*
Hillary Clinton insulted Donald Trump’s supporters by claiming that half of them could be put in what she termed “the basket of deplorables.” She apologized for her overgeneralization saying she really meant that the basket-cases among Trump’s supporters belong to a klavern of deplorables.
*
Hillary Clinton momentarily fainted at the 9/11 Commemoration. It was later disclosed that she is suffering from pneumonia. Although Donald Trump uncharacteristically refrained from pouncing on her medical problem, the doctor who wrote the letter attesting to his “astonishingly excellent” health tweeted: “Hillary has the most debilitating brain tumor in history. She needs to undergo an immediate lobotomy or be put in a medically induced coma until November 9th!”
*
Instagram introduced a new feature enabling users to block “inappropriate comments” on their posts. Donald Trump’s campaign manager Kellyanne Conway is currently exploring the possibility of installing this technology on his mouth.
*
Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu called the Palestinian precondition of evacuating Israeli settlers from the West Bank in return for peace “ethnic cleansing.” Relatives of the 80,000 Bosnian Muslims and 20,000 Croatians killed in the Bosnian Civil War wished that their loved ones could have opted for this form of ethnic cleansing.
*
Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.