By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO─ Donald Trump made an impromptu visit to Flint, Michigan to symbolize his concern over the lead pollution of the city’s water supply. Invited to speak at a local church, he launched into an attack on Hillary Clinton which was interrupted and stopped by the pastor. His sheepish response was caught on a cellphone and is now being broadcast as a public service about how drinking water with high levels of lead can cause brain damage.
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After Donald Trump generated a lot of publicity by releasing his medical records on the Dr. Oz Show, Hillary Clinton has scheduled an appearance on Dr. Phil to reveal the origins of her paranoia about the press. Both have arranged for The Discovery Health Channel to screen the footage of their most recent colonoscopies.
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Donald Trump finally conceded that President Obama was born in Hawaii, but continued to blame Hillary Clinton for starting the calumny. Nevertheless, he still believes Clinton and Obama founded ISIS with the intent of invading Hawaii to destroy the hospital where the fraudulent Obama birth certificate is stored.
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The United States and the Russian Federation have brokered two successive 48 hour cease fires in the Syrian Civil War. With another 48 hours, they should be able to feed and rehabilitate the 6.6 million Syrians who have been internally displaced by the conflict.
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Donald Trump Jr. denied that his remark that the media would be “warming up the gas chamber” if the Republicans behaved the same way as the Democrats in the current presidential campaign, was a reference to the Holocaust. His father defended his son by pledging that he would never kill dissident journalists, only place them in concentration camps. He clarified the matter by insisting that he would treat the press like Vladimir Putin not Adolf Hitler.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.