The First Presidential Debate
By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO─ Trump prided himself for not studying the issues or participating in mock debates to prepare for debating Hillary Clinton. While that may not be his style, it quickly became apparent that he should have taken a crash course in impulse control.
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Donald Trump practiced birther control with the old fashioned method of debatus interruptus.
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Hillary admitted she made a mistake by using a private server for her State Department emails. When asked what she would do differently with hindsight, she replied that she would delete the whole incident from her record.
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When the debate was going poorly for Trump, he wanted to illustrate his proposal for dealing with unruly African-Americans by stopping and frisking Lester Holt.
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Unused Zinger: When Trump said, “”I think my strongest asset, maybe by far, is my temperament,” Hillary should have responded, “Just like my biggest asset is my hourglass figure!”
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Unused Zinger: In his closing remark, Trump implied that he exhibited restraint by not bringing up embarrassing personal issues (hint: Bill Clinton’s infidelities). Hillary had been ready to pounce on him if he did by either dismissing it with two words: “Marla Maples” or explaining that Bill and she dealt with marital discord by working on their relationship and not getting divorced
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.