By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO−Outraged about the allegations about compromising information the Russians may have on him, Donald Trump vehemently denied the unsubstantiated charge that Russia has a video of him watching prostitutes urinate on his hotel bed in Moscow by reminding reporters that he is a germaphobe. What seems verifiable, however, is that he is Russophile who enjoyed watching Vladimir Putin urinate on the American electoral process.
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The Republican Congress has taken the first steps to repeal Obamacare. When asked what will replace it, Paul Ryan said the alternative will provide every American family with a first aid kid and the URL of WebMD.
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Donald Trump refused to allow a reporter from CNN to ask a question at his press conference because he considers it a “terrible organization” which fabricates “fake news.” Trump would never deign to disseminate blatant lies like President Obama wasn’t born in the United States, Hillary Clinton was too sick to run for president, climate change is a hoax invented by the Chinese, and Meryl Streep is an overrated actress.
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Due to an outpouring of public criticism, British television network Sky Arts cancelled an episode of a forthcoming program that cast white actor Joseph Fiennes as deceased popstar Michael Jackson. It is also contemplating withdrawing its future biopic of Bob Dylan played by Kanye West.
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Sixteen Jewish community centers received bomb threats in one day this week. The FBI is trying to determine whether these threats should be investigated as hate crimes. Here’s some advice: go to the dictionary and look up hate crime: one of the definitions is threats to bomb Jewish institutions.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.