The Ignomination
By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO−An inauguration turns into an ignomination when:
The new president is more corrupt than the opponent he derided as crooked.
The new president can’t resist telling his predecessor that he’s fired.
The new president strings together his “best” tweets rather than writing an inauguration speech.
The new president offers free tickets to a free event to assure the crowd is “huge.”
The new president disavows a former KKK Imperial Wizard, but not a former KGB agent.
The new president reveals less about his finances than his cabinet appointees have done.
The new president cancels his visit to the Museum of African-American History and Culture on Martin Luther King Jr. Day because what the hell does he have to lose.
The new president thinks his Jewish son-in-law can forge peace between Israelis and Palestinians because he is a Semite.
The new president doesn’t discern the irony that ruination and urination are anagrams formed from the letters in inauguration.
The new president worries more about the ratings for the inauguration television coverage than he does about his high disapproval ratings in public opinion polls.
The new president promises to reach over to the other side of the aisle, and female Democrats wonder if reach is a synonym for grope.
The new president is the best-known entertainer at his inauguration concert and balls.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.