Humoring the headlines: February 23, 2017

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO−President Trump toured the National Museum of African-American History and Culture.  He wondered why there wasn’t any exhibit honoring the generosity of the European whites who provided free trans-Atlantic cruises for Africans immigrating to the United States and asked the docent to arrange a meeting with the Black Congressional Caucus.

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President Trump belatedly condemned anti-Semitic incidents like the desecration of a Jewish cemetery in St. Louis and the series of bomb threat hoaxes at JCCs over the last month.  Queried about why the President had waited so long to respond, Sean Spicer replied that Trump had been under the impression that JCC stood for Jewish Conspiracy Centers because Steve Bannon had told him so.

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The Department of Homeland Security issued new guidelines on which groups of “removable aliens” should be targeted for deportation.  It included not only those who have been convicted of a criminal offence but also those who “have been charged with any criminal offense that has not been resolved.”  Nothing signals the world that America is great again more than institutionalizing the principle of presumption of guilt.

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Reacting to an on-line petition that garnered nearly two million signatures, the British Parliament has been debating whether President Trump’s state visit to the United Kingdom should be cancelled since it would “cause embarrassment to Her Majesty the queen.”   Some MPs have called for a referendum on the matter calling it TREXIT; whereas others have demanded that Trump be warned to keep his hands off the Crown Jewels.

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Astronomers announced the discovery of 7 planets approximately the size of earth that are orbiting a star in a distant galaxy.  Upon hearing the news, Rex Tillerson started the paperwork to claim whatever coal, gas, and oil is found on the planets for Russia and the United States and jointly construct a pipeline to transport these sources of energy back to earth.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com   San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.