Trump’s Alternative History
By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO−Having perfected the art of fabricating alternative facts, Donald Trump has shifted to inventing alternative history. Now that we have learned that big-hearted Andrew Jackson hated the Civil War (though he was already dead for sixteen years before it broke out) and could have prevented it, what new things will Trump say about the past during the rest of his presidency?
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Benedict Arnold remained loyal to the American Revolution. He pretended to defect to the British side to negotiate a deal between the white Colonies and England to crush future slave rebellions and stop Mexicans from flooding over the southern border.
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Drawing on his previous experience as a real estate agent, Andrew Jackson relocated Native Americans to pristine properties where some day they would be able to earn a lot of money charging fees for pipelines constructed on their reservations.
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If Charles Lindbergh had been president instead of Woodrow Wilson in 1917, the United States would not have entered World War One enabling Germany to win the war. This would have averted the rise of the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany, World War Two, NATO, and, the European Union. If that had happened, I would have shaken Queen Merkel’s hand.
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If General Eisenhower had staged a coup during his term in office, he would have still been in power in 1979 to overthrow the Islamic Revolution in Iran just as he did Mosaddegh in 1953. And then Israel could tell those uppity Iranians, “Shah, shah.” (That’s what Jared says to me in Jewish when I say something outrageous).
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.