By Joel H. Cohen
NEW YORK — Profanity-spewing Anthony Salamucci, affectionately (?) known to himself and others as “The Mooch,” invoked Bible brothers Cain and Abel in discussing his relationship with then soon-to-be-fired White House Chief of Statff Reince Priebus,
Mooch, the newly appointed White House Communications Director, who is already reported to be on the way out, said: “If you want to talk about [Reince Priebus], we have had odds. We have had differences. When I said we were brothers,,,, that’s because we’re rough on each other. Some brothers are like Cain and Abel. Other brothers can fight with each other and get along “
The Mooch’s citation of Adam and Eve’s twin sons may have sent White House staffers to their choomashim (Bibles), but it’s unlikely it gave them much comfort. For, as we all know, Cain slew Abel and, unlike White House rivalry, the killing was literal.
Should the now-deposed Mooch go on to liken his relationships with other Trump appointees to Bible brethren, it also may not have the intended calming effect. Take twins Jacob and Esau, for example.
As a youth, Jacob held back food from his famished twin until Esau surrendered his birthright.And, as an adult, in a deed that may have given rise to the saying, “pulling the wool over someone’s eyes,” he disguised himself as his hairy brother, and also lied, to gain the blessing due (the earlier born)Esau from their aged, near-blind father
Jacob got a kind of comeuppance when an older sister (Leah) secretly took the place of his intended bride (Rachel), and he had to work a second seven-year stint for his father-in-law, to wed his beloved.
The Mooch might have chosen to refer to Joseph, who had many brothers, and whose father liked him best. Joseph eventually rose to be second in command only to Pharaoh (a role model), but he traveled a very rocky path, including bondage, until then.
Some felt that Joseph flaunted his prophetic talent and lorded over his siblings, and may have also done some preening in his fancy threads (was the last a possible object lesson for the Mooch?)
In retaliation, Joseph’s brothers decided to sell him into slavery.
In later Jewish history, Solomon and Absalom vied to inherit the throne left by their father David at his death….and so it goes.
The lesson, if there is one: Beware of those who quote the Bible for less than holy reasons.
What might have brought some temporary comfort to White House staffers is what Scaramucci said on Fox News: he’s “more of a front-stabbing person” as opposed to those in Washington who “take a shiv or a machete and stab you in the back.”
Now, alas, he’s the one who’s been victimized. Oh, brother!
*
Cohen is a freelance writer and humorist based in New York. He may be contacted via joel.cohen@sdjewishworld.com
4