By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO−Trump Tweets that General Kelly deleted before they were sent.
*
I heeded great advice from my amazing generals to dispatch more troops to Afghanistan. Vlad also assured me that it worked wonders for Russia when it was fighting there. He never deceives me. BFF!
*
Best solar eclipse the world has ever seen happened on my watch. It demonstrates how unreliable solar power is! Coal will fuel the 21st Century!
*
Newsreel footage of Charlottesville torchlight rally proves I was right. If only Americans knew that “Jews will not replace us” is something Robert E. Lee uttered after he heard Southern Jewish soldiers had enlisted into the Confederate Army of Virginia.
*
USS John S. McCain had an accident. While I send my sympathies to the families of the injured and missing, I want to American public to know that I prefer ships that don’t have accidents.
*
I’m glad Steve Bannon has returned to run Breitbart. Now Alex Jones’ Infowars will have competition for reporting real news. Too bad for failing New York Times and Washington Post!
*
Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.