MELVILLE, New York — In Israel, it is a common custom for young Israelis to gather on the streets after Kol Nidre for an evening of fun and flirting. Many of the teenagers can be seen wearing the traditional white of the holiday. The teens, including both secular and more religious youth, will often stay out late, walking or biking around, or just relaxing on blankets and pillows in parks or, as they do in the town of Shoham, lazing in the grassy area of the large traffic circle in the center of town. Which of the following is among the reasons that this tradition has developed?
A. The medieval Jewish scholar Rashi, wrote that “the Holy One, blessed be He, first made Adam and Eve.” From this he noted the high value Judaism placed on marriage and children and commented that hunger for love was as powerful as hunger for food. Thus, Yom Kippur, a day of fasting, was seen as a time when young couples might be particularly attuned to matters of the heart as well as matters of the stomach.
B. In the Talmud, Rabbi Simeon Ben Gamliel noted that in ancient times girls would dance in the vineyard in white dresses on Yom Kippur and boys who were not married would go there to find a wife. The current custom, while not consistent with religious Jewish practice, can still be traced in part to this historical connection of Yom Kippur to matrimony.
C. According to Chassidic tradition, as noted on the Chabad website, “On Yom Kippur, we access and reveal the very essence of our soul, which is one with the very essence of G-d.” This deep and personal connection to God, in effect where two become one, has led the Chassidim to consider the day after Yom Kippur as an ideal day for weddings, a time when two people become as one. While the social behavior in Israel after Kol Nidre services would not be acceptable within the Chassidic community, it is the Chassidic tradition that the day after Yom Kippur is a good day to marry which has led to the practice in some Israeli communities of socializing on Yom Kippur with a goal of meeting the person whom you would eventually marry.
D. There is a traditional link between the High Holidays and weddings. God is considered to be the groom and the Jewish people are viewed as the bride, with the month of Elul seen as a time of courtship. The blowing of the shofar signifies the Jewish people’s acceptance of God’s proposal. The Israeli custom among young people on Kol Nidre flowed from this traditional concept of courtship during the High Holidays, though clearly with a much more secular approach in modern-day Israel.
E. Given that romance is forbidden on Yom Kippur, Israeli teenager Yuval Sadaka, who lives in Shoham, explained that “Girls like Yom Kippur because the boys act nice for once.” And noting that romance is actually forbidden on Yom Kippur, she added, “You want to do it because you can’t do it. Not even the bad breath you get from fasting can ruin it.”
Zimmerman is the author of the Rashi, Rambam and Ramalamadingdong series of Jewish trivia e-books. Learn more at http://www.rrrjewishtrivia.com