By Joel H. Cohen
NEW YORK –The mystery surrounding President Trump’s fondness for wearing overly long red neckties may have been solved.
A sociologist (who asked not to be named) is convinced that the president considers each of the ties his raiteh bendel, the red ribbon, bracelet or band that many Jews over centuries have considered a prime defense against the Evil Eye.
This superstition or rational belief —take your pick – is a time-honored folk custom about warding off misfortune. Hard-to-believe, but there’s controversy about the legitimacy of the belief. Still, as we learned in Psychology 101, “What people believe is true for them, and has social significance.”
Trump heard about the custom from his Jewish daughter and son-in-law. The red ribbon may be affixed to clothing, say the underwear of an infant or older child, or attached to, say, a baby carriage or crib, or somewhere in a car’s interior.
And, not one to take chances (except verbally), the president decided to possess several red ties as representatives of the band.
As to the extra-large dimensions of the ties he wears, he’s told intimates, “Nothing about me is average or average-sized.”
Trump fits the mold of someone who would latch on to anything that might protect him against enemies. Consider the way he lashes our at critics, gives opponents disparaging nicknames, bullies rivals and constantly boasts.
“I have so many people hostile to me — Democrats, corrupt reporters, fake news organization, Hillary, chubby dictators, politically correct kooks. I need more protection than anyone.” (Somehow he reminds us of the saying, “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean people aren’t out to get you.”)
Thanks to his red ties (aka raiteh bendels) President Trump is protected from the machinations of most evil spirits.
He originally thought the ribbon stood for the “red badge of courage,” from the Steven Crane war novel. But, as he learned, the red band –perhaps absent courage — is intended to forestall personal disaster.
Some attribute the custom to Kabbala, in whose usage an adherent wears the red string on the left wrist. as a bracelet or band. The ribbon, usually made from scarlet wool thread, is thin.
But Trump’s bendels are yuuuuge.
“Did Obama ever wear a bendel?” Trump asked rhetorically. “I don’t think so.”
Then, on a positive note, he commented, “The Jews have great superstitions. Some don’t even think of them that way. But they’re great.”
Fortunately for those around him, the president didn’t take on the belief that eating a lot of garlic keeps the Evil Spirit away.
And Trump might have adopted yet another Jewish superstition – the belief that if a person sneezed while speaking, it meant that what he or she was saying was true.
So far, the Trump version of the red band must be working– the self-acknowledged germaphobe hasn’t sneezed yet!!!
*
San Diego Jewish World assures readers who are new to freelance writer Joel Cohen’s “Just Kidding” columns that they are satirical and should not be taken seriously.