Humoring the headlines: March 24, 2018

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO−I posted a selfie of me eating an enchilada at a Mexican restaurant.

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About a half hour after I left the restaurant, I glanced at my smartphone and noticed a news article on Facebook about ICE agents raiding the cantina in search of undocumented workers.

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Then I received a Facebook post from the NRA claiming that the March for Our Lives Students planned to take my guns away leaving me defenseless against thieves who were plotting to rob me while I was returning home from the Mexican restaurant.

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When watching television at home, I saw another Facebook petition calling for President Trump to impose a tariff on tortillas manufactured in Mexico and touting how many tortilla factory jobs would be created if this happened.

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My next Facebook message was a fundraising ad for a local Republican running on a platform to drain the mole sauce from chicken enchiladas and replace it with salsa made in the United States.

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That was followed by a friend request on Facebook from an Alt-Right survivalist in Idaho who was stockpiling refried beans, tacos, and tequila in anticipation of the coming race war against African Americans, Asians, and Latinos.

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When I woke up the next day, my Facebook feed consisted of a Yelp request for me to rate the Mexican Restaurant, a public opinion poll sent by a John Bolton’s PAC asking me whether I believed eating foreign cuisines was the first step towards appeasement, and a pornographic solicitation from a Hispanic escort service featuring a scantily clothed senorita eating a tamale.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.