By Donald H. Harrison
SAN DIEGO – Come April 27, Disobedience will open in movie theaters across the country. I think a better title might be Restraint.
It is the story of Ronit, the daughter of an Orthodox rabbi, banished from her British community because she was discovered having a lesbian affair with a neighbor girl. Having been away for a long time in New York City, she returns to London after being notified of her father’s death. There, she finds that the people of what once had been her insular community are shocked by her return.
Everyone is too polite to voice their objections with any demonstrativeness, but from their looks and their body language, we know Ronit is as welcome as a clown at the shiva.
Far more kind to her, however, is David, who had been her father’s disciple and stands to become the next rabbi of their synagogue. He and Ronit grew up together in her father’s house. Since she moved away, David was married to the very reserved Esti, who surprises Ronit’s family during a Shabbat meal when she defends a decision Ronit had made to change the last name she uses as a photographer. Esti points out that women’s names get changed all the time; typically when they have to subsume their identities under that of their husbands.
Not much is said in response among the restrained company at this Shabbos meal, but the looks exchanged between Ronit and Esti tell us there is more to this story. Esti, we come to understand, in fact had been Ronit’s childhood lover.
The movie, directed by Sebastian Lelio comes to the crisis point after the attraction Ronit and Esti have for each other dramatically comes to the attention of some nosy neighbors, who report the matter to synagogue authorities. Hereinafter, the movie is a study of the three people in this love triangle trying to keep their emotions under control – Esti, David, and Ronit.
Rachel Weisz is convincing as Ronit, who is torn between her individualistic personality and her longing to be remembered as the loving daughter of the rabbi who has disinherited her. Equally powerful in his depiction of David, who is cuckolded by his childhood best friend, is Alesandro Nivola. But for my money, the standout in the cast is Rachel McAdams, who portrays a restrained young woman who has tried to resign herself to her fate, but just cannot.
The movie, based on a novel by Naomi Alderman, leaves us questioning the concept of free will. Going against communal norms can be soul-shattering, as both Ronit and Esti come to know. For David, whose part is played with tormented understatedness, the situation ultimately forces him to reexamine his ambitions and values.
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Harrison is editor of San Diego Jewish World. He may be contacted via donald.harrison@sdjewishworld.com
What is frum?
Very strictly Orthodox